Carly Fiorina To Continue Vanity Campaign After Seventh-Place Finish In New Hampshire

There were a lot of storylines that came out of Tuesday night’s New Hampshire primary. Bernie Sanders walloped Hillary Clinton on the Democratic side, winning nearly every demographic, and appears to have all the momentum heading to Nevada and South Carolina. Donald Trump doubled up his nearest GOP rival and handed a victory to racists and white nationalists everywhere. Following his robotic debate performance, Marco Rubio stumbled to a fifth-place finish and, suddenly, looks dead in the water. John Kasich is now the new face of the establishment, as he took advantage of Rubio’s fall and finished in second place to Trump.

As of Wednesday morning, none of the Republican candidates had officially dropped out. However, it appears that Chris Christie’s announcement is imminent. [UPDATE: Christie did indeed drop out on Wednesday.] The New Jersey Governor placed all of his eggs in the NH basket, banking on a strong placement to carry him to South Carolina and beyond. Even though he was the one responsible for Rubio-bot’s spectacular malfunction, and he was crowned the unofficial debate victor, it didn’t translate to voter support and he finished a disappointing sixth with less than 10% of the Republican vote.

While he went to New Jersey Tuesday night to contemplate his future, one delusional candidate continues to believe that victory is still within grasp. Despite another bottom-feeding placement, fired Hewlett-Packard CEO and previously failed Senate hopeful Carly Fiorina told the press that her campaign will continue onward. Yep, even though she didn’t qualify for the last Republican debate, and she got all of 4% of the vote in New Hampshire — on the heels of a low single-digit performance in Iowa — Fiorina will continue to waste everyone’s time.

One can point out that fellow never-will-be Ben Carson actually finished lower than Fiorina and is also refusing to drop out right now. However, at the very least, he finished in fourth in Iowa and has a chance to connect with Evangelicals in South Carolina. Yes, it is extremely unlikely that he’ll register with any voters moving forward as the race starts tightening, but at least there’s a certain kind of logic at play.

But for Carly, this is all just a vanity project. She has no real supporters. Her fundraising is all dried up. She’s now more known for continuing to lie about seeing a video that doesn’t exist than for whatever views or positions she actually holds. But, she wants people to call her a Presidential candidate, just like she wanted folks to think she could be a Senator, despite being shitcanned from her executive position at a corporation that got progressively worse under her watch.

Carly, take the hint. Nobody likes you. Move on.

UPDATE: Fiorina finally took the hint and announced on Wednesday afternoon that she would be suspending her campaign.