Guys Who Really Wanted Iran To Free American Prisoners Now Mad They’re Released
News broke on Saturday morning that Iran had agreed to release four Americans, including a Washington Post reporter, who had been imprisoned in the country. In exchange for the release, the United States would release seven Iranians who had been held on sanctions charges. Later in the day, Iran separately released a fifth American it had detained. The exchange took place after a year of negotiations and with the impending end of sanctions under the nuclear deal.
Well, even though Republicans have long been crying for the release of these prisoners, and have been calling on President Obama to do anything and everything to secure their release, when the day finally came they could do nothing but whine and bellyache. It is as if they just automatically oppose anything the sitting Commander-In-Chief does or says because a large segment of their ‘base’ really, really, really hates the guy. A hatred that absolutely has nothing to do with his black skin, I’ve been told by many an honest Tea Partier.
Now, mind you, both the quick release of the ten sailors who were captured in Iranian waters, and these American prisoners being freed, is almost completely due to the nuclear deal in place. However, GOPers, and especially those running for the White House, have already taken the position that it is the most disastrous thing that ever written up, and therefore cannot bring themselves to give that any credit. And, also, Obummer sucks (natch) and John Kerry is a French-looking pantywaist, so they have to be criticized, no matter what.
Thus, we got the should-be-but-isn’t-because-Obama weird situation of supposedly serious men going out of their way to piss all over news of Americans being freed by an adversary. Pumpkin half-breed Donald Trump immediately complained that the United States handed over more people than Iran did. He also claimed we are giving the Iranians $150 billion, a claim he has made dozens of times, once again failing to mention that it is already Iran’s money and the assets are merely being unfrozen.
Failed Sopranos extra Chris Christie went with his pretend tough guy bravado when discussing the prisoner release. He claimed that if he were President, he wouldn’t have swapped any prisoners. Instead, his unbelievable toughness would have scared Iran into sending over the Americans post haste. At the same time, he seemed to suggest that Obama should have just waited until a Republican was elected as Iran would have just freed them on Inauguration Day, similar to the Iran hostage situation under Jimmy Carter. So, yeah, Christie wanted the prisoners to sit in jail for another year.
Little drummer boy Marco Rubio also chimed in, pretty much taking the same stance as Christie. His position is that we should never negotiate with our enemies and should only demand something for nothing. He said that due to this exchange, other countries will treat us like shit and take hostages in order to get free stuff from the United States. Or something like that.
Really, only Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) came across as measured, mature and relieved that negotiations appeared to work. Then again, not only is Paul a libertarian and isolationist, but he’s also polling in the low single digits and has no hope of winning. Therefore, he can actually act like a real human being now and then.
Now, let’s wait to see the even bigger freakout now that Obama has lifted the sanctions against Iran after they complied with the deal, something we all knew was coming but still allows for tantrum-throwing children to push the buttons of low-information voters.
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