During a sermon delivered at Abilene Baptist Church in Augusta, Georgia, Fox News contributor and Bible misinterpreter Todd Starnes declared that the United States government would be criminalizing Christian beliefs within the next few years. He also stated that the fast food chain Chick-Fil-A was the “official chicken of Jesus” and that he doesn’t trust vegetarians because he is sure that God blessed this country because we “know how to smoke a pork butt.” These were just a handful of the batshit crazy crap that Starnes blurted out under the guise of preaching the Lord’s word.
Starnes, who fancies himself as a culture warrior fighting on behalf of oppressed Christian Americans, was still mighty pissed off about the recent Supreme Court decision making gay marriage legal nationwide. But that wasn’t the only thing that grinded his gears. Starnes also commented on Southern pride and the Confederate flag, Miley Cyrus, Duck Dynasty and gender equality. Overall, the sermon seemed like something you’d see on Saturday Night Live or Key & Peele. But, alas, this was no parody.
To start things off, Starnes made sure to kiss up to the Southern Baptist crowd by tossing praise towards some of the staples of living below the Mason-Dixon line, which is apparently sweet tea, Waffle House and Chick-Fil-A. Beyond declaring Chik-Fil-A Jesus’ fave, he also lamented that he lives near so many vegetarians up north, considering that God loves this nation because of our BBQ.
But, that was all just the warm-up act. It didn’t take long for Starnes to go full-on right-wing crazy Christian conspiracy theorist. See, the liberals and their jackboot thugs in the federal government are going to come hunting for those who believe in Jesus. Before long, it will be illegal to be a Christian. He pointed to Miley Cyrus and Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson as proof. In Starnes’ mind, the fact that Miley was “celebrated” for twerking while Robertson was condemned for his anti-gay comments means that Christianity will soon be wiped out in America.
Outside of that, Starnes also claimed that there is a war on religious liberty, but only against Christians and definitely not against Muslims, Jews or Hindus. This was in reference to the SCOTUS decision on marriage equality. He also targeted transgender people, saying that any attempts to teach gender equality in school would just make it that there will soon be no such thing as boys and girls. Children would instead be switching gender identities willy nilly during the average school day.
Anyway, if you want to take a gander at the crazy, the video below has most of the sermon, courtesy of Raw Story: