The Partisan Opposition Republicans Deserve If Democrats Take The House

The Partisan Opposition Republicans Deserve If Democrats Take The House

With the Democratic blue wave seriously threatening to win majority power in the House of Representatives in the coming November mid-term elections, it cannot hurt to imagine what Democratic opposition to President Donald Trump might look like.

Should Democrats be the proverbial bigger person, and put aside the egregious past Republican obstructionism during the Obama years in order to try and find common ground with President Trump and the Republican Senate in order to craft good-faith compromises on all the matters within Congress’ purview?

Or, should Democrats metaphorically take out their ball sacks and rub them on the Republicans’ “compromise means we lose” faces to make them pay for Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, and Donald Trump’s shameless attempts to subvert the entire American political system for partisan and personal gain?

Let’s explore what the opposition that President Trump and the Republican Party wholly deserve could look like.

1. Democrats nation-wide who go on any form of media begin and end every interview with the following quote: “Donald Trump is the worst President in American history, he ran to personally enrich himself and his family, he is an atheist puppet of Russia whose sex crimes should warrant his restraint from being within 15 feet of any women, and he is a divisive demagogue who idolizes foreign governments antithetical to democracy and rule of law.”

2. In every one of Democrats’ November victory and concession speeches alike, Democratic lawmakers publicly declare what is at this point blatantly obvious: Donald Trump is going to be at the very most a one-term President and will be put in jail for financial crimes, obstruction of justice, and collusion with a foreign government to subvert the national sovereignty of the United States of America.

3. The Democratic House Majority, on its first day in office, opens up dozens of Congressional investigations into every Trump Organization business deal and allegation of political corruption in the Trump Administration, transition, and presidential campaign with subpoenas for every known Trump associate in a gauntlet of interviews in order to, simply and innocently, “find the truth.” Democrats issue hundreds of contempt of Congress resolutions to the plethora of Trump associates who have already lied and obstructed justice in their Congressional testimonies, and continue sanctioning future Trump’s associate liars.

4. Democrats pull a Mitch McConnell and stonewall as much as possible every single federal judge Trump picks with the rationale that imminently indicted Presidents in their last year of office do not get to pick any judges whatsoever, or at the very least not until Merrick Garland is put on the Supreme Court. If Democrats somehow miraculously take the Senate as well, Trump doesn’t get anything.

5. One emotionally volatile Democrat during Trump’s 2019 State of the Union speech yells “Russian traitor!” during Trump’s comments about “law and order.”

6. Democrats use all the House’s time and energy crafting legislation that the Republican Senate and President Trump will never sign, in the pattern of the Republican House’s 60+ attempts to end the Affordable Care Act while Obama wielded veto power. Democrats use this time to craft bills authorizing automatic voter registration, a legislative end to Citizens’ United, universal healthcare once and for all, expansive public infrastructure works, a reinstatement of the Dreamer Act and general immigration reform, rational gun control measures, and tax reform that reverses several rounds of GOP tax cuts. This legislation is prepared for 2021 when Democrats have a chance of wielding full government power.

7. The future Democratic Speaker of the House hires an intern to track all of Trump’s executive orders so that the next Democratic president is ready on day one to undo them all and un-erase Obama’s legacy.

8. All 2020 presidentially motivated Democrats begin going on cable news shows explaining how they’ve sent “guys” down to Queens, New York who are finding “amazing stuff” regarding Trump’s birth certificate, and how they’re merely asking questions because, if Trump is not really an orangutan, why isn’t he releasing his long-form birth certificate?

Again, this is the opposition that Republicans deserve, not likely the opposition Democrats will give them. Oh, how Republicans deserve this, though.


Dash MacIntyre

Dash MacIntyre

Dash MacIntyre is a Millennial political columnist from St. Louis. He is also the founder and editor-in-chief of The Halfway Post, a satirical gazette of angrily halfway real news.