The presidential candidacy of Donald Trump is an unambiguous masterpiece of bullshit artistry, but the cream of the Trump bullshit crop is his candidacy’s supposed raison d’être: that Trump is so personally awesome at dealmaking that Americans will literally grow tired of winning so much from international deals.
Would a President Trump actually be able to deliver such high expectations?
Large international trade deals take many months and often years of dedicated work from hundreds of economists, diplomats, and business experts. This impressive work is followed by massive, politically exhausting efforts to ratify the unsurprisingly controversial finished agreements in each involved country’s respective political system.
As such, it is fundamentally stupid to think that a president Trump would keep himself cooped up in the White House for years meticulously negotiating the thousands of complicated intricacies of multiple, simultaneous international and bilateral trade deals all by himself, all while simultaneously fighting the war against ISIS, containing Chinese and Russian posturing, and legislatively muscling his ambitious domestic agenda.
Of course Trump won’t be writing the deals himself, and he certainly can’t be traveling all around the world nonstop to personally involve himself in every deal that America rips up and rewrites. So as usual with Trump, he will simply take credit for other people’s work.
Even if Trump did personally play some minor role in every one of America’s trade negotiations, though, his business track record suggests he will royally fuck them up. This is a man who failed in the casino industry and declared bankruptcy four separate times. Yet, including his lack of an attention span and intellectual curiosity, nothing will sabotage Trump’s prospective trade deals more than his terrible personality and outrageously inflated ego.
It is preposterous to believe that other countries will accept trade deals that Donald himself publicly brags will screw them over for America’s benefit. Trade deals are already arduous enough to hammer out and ratify—they will be impossible with Trump tweeting out self-aggrandizing and antagonistic taunts at other countries boasting that he is a genius for beating them so bad.
Trump is such a pompously narcissistic idiot that he will ruin every trade deal he tries to make simply because he is too arrogantly egotistical to deal in good faith. Other countries would simply refuse to consider negotiations with America until he is out of office.
What does this mean for a prospective Trump presidency? That Trump would likely ravage every foreign relationship America has. Other nations—Mexico in particular—will naturally ignore Trump while his publicly announced goal for negotiation is to screw them over.
So would a President Trump actually be able to deliver such high expectations? No. He wouldn’t. Sorry Trumpeters, you’ve been conned.