The Trump Train Has Become A Hot Mess Express

The Trump Train Has Become A Hot Mess Express

The Trump Train was originally billed as an unstoppable force that would elect Donald Trump president of the United States. Such confidence in Trump’s capacity to get himself elected has turned out to be titanically undeserved.

With the number of days until the election dwindling, Donald Trump is ramping up his campaign’s media strategy that “all press is good press,” and simultaneously proving once and for all that incessant negative news coverage is not better than no press at all.

Lately, Trump’s strategy has apparently been to proverbially throw a bunch of shit at the wall in the hope that something will stick. This works for his die-hard supporters—particularly with Trump’s assertion that a President Trump will put Hillary Clinton in prison—but has yet to impress America at large.

Meanwhile, Trump’s continuously sinking poll numbers suggest that Trump is just angrily lashing out like an entitled, emotionally unstable toddler. His laughable irritability suggests he is a desperate little man who cannot accept his conspicuous, categorical unfitness to be president.

Here is a list of unprecedented controversies and personal scandals from the Republican Party’s presidential nominee, just since last week:

  • He creepily refuted several sexual assault accusations by claiming that his accusers are not attractive enough for him to have wanted to sexually assault them.
  • He launched a team-killing “civil war” against Republican Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, suggesting Ryan doesn’t know how to win elections.
  • He began to seriously deny the legitimacy of American elections with conspiratorially irresponsible claims that Hillary Clinton (who he called a devil at the last debate) is registering a host of illegal immigrants to steal the election.
  • He claimed Clinton was on drugs, echoing Roger Stone’s suggestion that she must be taking methamphetamines in order to have the physical stamina to participate for the entire duration of the debates.
  • He got his feelings hurt by Saturday Night Live and tweeted that the satirical comedy show ought to be canceled for its role in rigging the election.
  • He got butthurt from criticism, courtesy of President Obama, and invited Obama’s half-brother Malik Obama to psychologically mess with…Hillary Clinton?

Isn’t it funny how most articles about Donald Trump’s presidential candidacy are just long laundry lists of hyperlinks, like editorial mini-encyclopedias detailing the many reasons why Trump has been the least popular presidential candidate in modern American memory?

I cannot emphasize enough that my list here is just from last week. A fascinating exercise in campaign history is to google “Trump’s bad week” and browse through the 36 million+ results taking note of how many individual weeks of Trump’s candidacy have been separately described as campaign-killing weeks.

Now Trump is quickly approaching a double-digit deficit in the polls. The Trump Train was supposed to be a juggernaut of Trumpian populism (faux-populism, mind you), but it appears that his unceasing offensive controversies have convinced America that the train is headed off a cliff.

Photo courtesy of @The_Trump_Train via DownTrend.

Levi Olson

Levi Olson

Senior political columnist here at Contemptor, and a political scientist proving that American conservatism is a sham. Follow me on Tumblr at or on Facebook & Twitter @theleviolson.