In a recorded commentary for Fox News Radio this week, right-wing religious pundit and small-faced culture warrior Todd Starnes aimed his sword of God in the direction of snack chip manufacturer Frito-Lay. It appears that Starnes is none too happy with the company’s decision to make rainbow-colored Doritos in an effort to raise awareness and benefit gay rights activist Dan Savage’s It Gets Better Project. The angry little man joined other conservatives in decrying Frito-Lay’s embrace of Savage, who they all hate with an absolute passion. (The feeling is definitely mutual with Savage.)
In his short radio spot, Starnes called Savage’s foundation, which is about helping young LGBT people deal with harassment, a hate group. Considering It Gets Better is mostly concerned with anti-gay bullying, the Fox News commentator made sure to label Savage as “a vulgar, anti-Christian BULLY”.
After name-dropping Kim Davis’ best friend Mike Huckabee, Starnes then pointed out that he will be boycotting Frito-Lay products due to the corporation’s support of homosexuals. He made sure to lace his commentary with numerous innuendos because that apparently is what a good Christian does.
“It appears that Frito-Lay would rather do business with the likes of Dan Savage than America’s good, church-going people.
It’s not my business where you dip your Dorito. But as for me and my house, I can promise you this, not a single Frito. Not a single Cheeto until Frito-Lay stops giving money to a bunch of godless sickos who bash Christians.”
Nothing, and I mean nothing, makes Starnes happier than bashing gays while simultaneously painting American Christians as the most persecuted victims in the history of the universe.