Over the past few days, Republican Presidential candidate and raging six-year-old Donald Trump has apparently pivoted from his normal strategy of talking shit about everyone he feels is “stupid” to actually talking about policy specifics. Of course, policy specifics for Trump just means spewing insanely idiotic crap about individual issues rather than shouting out his more general nonsense. After making up with Fox News earlier this week, Trump agreed to a lengthy sitdown interview with Sean Hannity, who has been one of his biggest supporters at the conservative network and was certain to treat The Donald with kid gloves.
In the second part of the interview that aired Wednesday night, the sycophantic Hannity cozied up to the Trumpster and tried to get him to give some specifics about what his Presidential Cabinet would like, what he would do with taxes and whether or not he’d approve the Keystone XL pipeline. (Trump’s answers: Smart people, no flat tax but a tax code that is “really good,” and fuck yeah I’d approve it!) The Fox News host eventually moved to foreign policy and asked Trump his thoughts on the Iran nuclear deal and the Middle East as a whole.
Before delving into the real estate mogul’s answers, let’s take a look at how he answered a similar question from the Fox & Friends crew on Tuesday morning. In his first trip back to Fox since last week’s GOP debate, Trump was asked about ISIS and how he would handle them if President. The reality TV star gave a typically bombastic and fantastical answer where he conflated ISIS and Iran, obviously unaware that Iran is actually helping to fight ISIS right now.
“Now that we’re there and guys are chopping off Christians’ heads and other people’s heads, and lots of bad things happening.
They’ll come for us if we don’t come for them.
I say, cut them off where they’re getting wealth. Cut them off at the oil.
I said keep the oil because somebody else will take it, I said it on your show many times, guess who took it? ISIS took it.
By the way, Iran is taking it. Everybody is taking it but us. We spent $2 trillion, thousands of lives, incredible wounded warriors. I love the wounded warriors. People are incredible.
Wounded warriors all over the place, and we have nothing. They don’t answer our phone calls anymore.
Iran is taking over Iraq 100%, just like I predicted years ago.
I say this, I didn’t want to go there in the first place. Now we take the oil. We should have kept the oil. Now we go in and knock the hell out of them. Take their wealth. They have so much money.”
Let me attempt to unpack that for you. Essentially, ISIS is going around cutting off people’s heads and doing a lot of bad stuff, and they will soon come for us and do bad stuff. So we need to take their money, which means take their oil. But Iran is getting the oil, too. Therefore, we need to go after Iran, who is taking over Iraq, and take their oil. Just knock the hell out of all of them even though soldiers won’t take our calls anymore. But the warriors love Trump, so they will fight, especially since they know Trump loves them.
In the Hannity interview, Trump once again went with the plan of fully invade the Middle East and take all the fucking oil to show everyone in the world how motherfucking badasssssssss we are. While telling his Fox buddy that it was totally a mistake to have gone into Iraq in the first place he pointed out that Obama’s Iran deal is such a disaster — it hasn’t even been implemented yet — that he will have no choice as President but to invade Iran guns a blazin’.
“Iran is taking over the world. If Iran was a stock, buy it…We have to go in. We have to stop, if we can, this deal for being made. I did not want to go in, but now it’s totally messed up … we have go in with force and take the oil.”
Your leader in the GOP polls, folks!
Below is video of the interview, courtesy of Fox News: